Religion...no thank you

I recently realized that I don't believe in religion. It's not for me and I doubt it ever will be. Now if you know me or have read some of my other blogs then I know you might be a little confused right now. I claim to be a Christian and by definition of the word I am one. I believe that there is only one true and living god and that He sent His one and only son, Jesus Christ, to die for me so that I could have everlasting life. But I don't believe in religion!!

I hate rules, absolutely positively hate them. I find them constraining and a negative force on my creative and free-flowing juices. I'm like the wind and rules are like huge brick walls stopping me from blowing freely. I just can't dig it (probably why I hated high school so much). Now you're asking "if I don't believe in religion then how can I believe in God?" Well that's simple, I believe in RELATIONSHIPS NOT RELIGION!!

For me religion often times focuses too much on rules, rituals, and traditions and not an actual relationship with God. People wonder how they can become saved and not feel any different. Well it's because they are focusing too much on trying to obey these rules and not trying to love and develop a relationship with God. People don't pray from the heart they pray from these templates they've read or learned. Focusing on rules and living the "religious" lifestyle is how so many people backslide and end up giving up on God. I just can't get down with that. I'm not a template, color in the lines kind of girl. I've got to love and learn God in my own way.

I also hate when people only are a part of religion for what they can get out of it. They don't want and love God for God but for what He can do for them. They don't want to be close to God, to experience His love, they just want Him to better their lives. Their prayers are like a request list when they should be more of an open flowing conversation. Here's how I explained to a friend of mine:

It's like a marriage. You should want to marry someone because of who they are
not just to get married or what the marriage could do for you. You shouldn't get
married because you just want a wedding or the wedding gifts. Nor should you get
married to a person because they are rich or have great connections. It's the
same with God.

Yes, God has the power to bless you financially and in other ways but that's not what it's always about. Your relationship with God shouldn't ONLY be about Him removing your debt, healing your illness or whatever else is an issue in your life.

I honestly and truly love God and before this Sunday I was almost frustrated with my religion. I'd take two steps forward and fall several back. Now I know it's because I can't rely on earthly people to tell me how to live my life. I know that as I develop my relationship with God my moral compass will become stronger and my ability to hear him when he speaks will become better as well. I won't have to rely on the rules of Christianity because God will place HIS rules in my heart and mind. I'm in no way knocking the church. As a matter of fact I still go and it works for me. It helps me find God and myself and define my relationship with him. But I still say it's time to put God first and religion second.

On that note I'm out!!

You Want What You Can't Have!!!

Gosh it's been a minute since I've blogged!! But last time I did it was about my least favorite subject in life: LOVE/ MATTERS OF THE HEART. Well first let me say we've made some sort of commitment to each other. The world girlfriend was used { :-O} But I digress...

Why is it as soon as you get someone new, anyone you used to date, were remotely interested in, and even some randoms come out of the wood-work trying to "holla"?? Was I not as appealing when I was chillin doing me alone? Or did you think you could run back to me when you got ready and now my new guy is messing up your plans?

I've been single since November and sure I've talked to a couple of guys but no one serious then as soon as I find someone that makes me happy the ex is getting on my darn nerves trying to get back in my life. I mean I have no issue being his friend (that's all we ever should have been because I never actually liked him), but get off my jock. Why are you now calling, trying to bribe me to spend time with you, constantly bugging me about coming over. Desperation is a real turn off and even if I wasn't taken I still wouldn't want you. I mean you had your chance and you blew it. All you did was waste my time.

Now as far as the former potential boos. I mean some of these guys are justified in still coming after me, I still haven't made it perfectly clear that there chance has been cut short, so on that MY BAD!! But for the guys who let me go before we ever had anything, why are you trying to start something now. Here's the place where I get really specific: OK this guy started something with me, then decided he couldn't handle it...ok I'm a big girl I can deal. So we're back on the friendship path, then as soon as I start talking about my "boothang" and my "baby" you want to start flirting, mentioning my "assets" and etc. Negro I'm so done!!

And then the randoms....dudes who never showed you a ounce of interest before want to "chill" and "get up" all of a sudden. This stuff makes no sense. It may be your homeboy, your exes friend, random guy from your math class, but trust and believe they will come out of no where wanting some of your time and probably some of something else you have.

I mean I really don't understand why these guys operate like they do. It's obvious you don't respect relationships and why would you want to be with someone that would mess around on their man. Doesn't that mean they will mess around on you? And did you ever think that the only reason you want a taken person is because their taken and you want the unattainable? At the end of the day you want what you can't have. Too bad!!